Sometimes I don't realize how odd my bipolar mind can be unless I am talking to my very rational, very linear, very stoic husband. I don't know how he does not see the world like I do. How come music does not bring him to tears, or make him feel deeply connected to something larger than himself. How come sad stories in the news don't make him feel as if the world is doomed to be horrible forever? How come stories of incredible generosity do not give him faith in humans and hope for a better world? Why isn't everything either filled with beauty, music, and color, or darkness and despair? Why can't he stay up until 3am because some issue is so important that we have to talk about it right now? Why can't he feel another person's pain or fear? Where is all the passion, beauty, fear, and anxiety in life?
I feel like he is missing out on life at times, but I am pretty sure if both of us were this way we could never stay together. It frustrates me that sometimes I can not connect with him on the intense level I function at each day. I am a little sad that he will never see what I see. However, it is his stability and logical yet creative mind that keeps my overly creative mind from taking over our lives. His mind makes him great at what he does, and mine makes me great at what I do.
It is hard not to feel alone in your illness if people around you do not see life as you do. This is one of the things that can break up people who love each other. It seems like you can't connect sometimes, or your partner does not understand you. Just because others do not see what we see, that does not mean we are alone. It is up to us to realize we still have connections with others and it is probably our differences that make us great partners or friends.