Monday, March 26, 2012

I Did The Dishes

I did the dishes. I helped make breakfast and pack lunch for our son. I have kept up with going to the gym. I got work done early. I have been able to make good food choices. I panic less when I have a new task fall into my life.

None of these things may seem like a big deal to most people, but to me it is. Usually I can't really do most of those things. My husband takes care of my son in the mornings and doing the dishes seems like such a big task I start to panic. By the middle of this week though I have been able to do all of those things. It could be that I am manic (I do have an urge to stay up all night), but also I think the Paleo diet is helping.

While I can feel the start of mania, I actually know I will go to bed in a few minutes and not stay up all night. While I desperately wanted to go to McDonald's and get a chocolate shake to self medicate, I ate salmon and strawberries instead. While I struggled with a lot of irritability this evening, I came out of it pretty quickly and had a fun evening with my son and husband. It seems that I am a bit better at seeing reality and fighting off the bipolar symptoms that come at me. Even my son was impressed with how quickly I was able to get back to living life with them today.

Clearly, I don't think I can say the diet is a sure thing until I have been on it at least a year, (we all know from previous posts that I have had times where things are looking up only to fall apart again) but this week is promising. More promising than my first week on a new medication that can leave me so out of it I can't think, stops my creativity, ends my emotions, or makes me an anxious wreck. And I don't feel fake like I do on medication. I don't know how to describe it, but on most of my medications I got this feeling either that I was numb or that I was overly optimistic and oblivious.

We will see how this goes. Thankfully my husband and son have been working with me on all these dietary chages. I also have great support from my sister and brother-in-law so I have a really good support system in place to make this a success. As we all know, we can't do this alone.


Rev. Katie

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